It came in with a bang. A startling insight. The question of “Who am I” had been answered for me long ago. The further I moved into embodiment, I realized: The question now really is all around “What am I”?
This might sound a bit strange to begin with. Why would I care about what I am? Isn’t it clear? A spiritual being, in a human body? I thought so, too. The question of who I am, I had answered for myself when I went through the first part of spiritual awakening. The clearing of the energetic patterns, the blocks, the empowerment. More and more I understood, that awakening is actually not a journey at all. That would mean there is a destination, something to reach. No… it is an experience. A quest. An exploration. Not for the sake of getting anywhere. But for the sake of growth, expansion and learning. It is non linear. And I got it so clear. Anything I encounter on that quest, is actually a part of myself that is experiencing and exploring a different part of this overall map called universe, and more specifically planet earth. Collecting information for the source we all come from. So no matter what I see, encounter, experience: It is a part of the whole, a part of me – that is just how a hologram works…. So I got it. Who am I: The creative source.
“So no matter what I see, encounter, experience: It is a part of the whole, a part of me – that is just how a hologram works.
Much more interesting it got when I really moved into embodiment. I had the feeling since a while already, that there is more to awakening than just meditating, breathing and keeping the frequency high. When we look at the process of creation, then at some point, we actually start to create. How many times have we read and heard that lightworkers are incarnate on earth to help humanity ascend and to create a New Earth that functions on a completely new mainframe. A higher frequency and codes that are based on 5D and above. Great! But what does that mean? January this year (2019) we could already feel that the time of talking about New Earth was over. We all kind of got tired of just talking about ascension and symptoms and methods. We had figured out how the universe works and how we transmute energy. We had cleared our stuff in large parts energetically. We could feel our bodies preparing to land this energy on the planet and being able to walk between the dimensions with ease. We could feel that urge that we are called to create.
“Who could have thought that this physical process would be so challenging once again.”
Who would have thought that this physical process would be so challenging once again. The physical body ailing, hurting, pushing cellular memory to the surface to release, and at the same time upgrading to be able to channel the higher frequencies in order to physically create. The energetic blueprint is established, so what is next?
We felt that our task is changing. What used to work did not work anymore. It did not feel right anymore to rely on tools or methods. Now it was intuitively being and doing what felt good in the moment. We had no choice really but to let go of the idea we could control anything or stay in our “spiritual comfort zone”. All we could do is move into the moment, into that zero point and create from there. Intention yes, expectation of specific outcomes no. We are now learning to reunite the past and future into the present moment.
Our experience from the past is a big clue on what is next. What we learned in our 3D past, combined with our unique talents and gifts, now serves us to walk between the dimensions. And it also helps us to find out WHAT we are.
“That means really finding out what our function is in this evolving human organism. It is so individual, no one else could fill exactly the same function.”
That means really finding out what our function is in this evolving human organism. That is so individual, that there is no one else in this whole organism, who could fill exactly the same function. And the process actually is a permanent striptease, showing us relentlessly what we are not. Everything that is not effortless for us, is what we are not. Everything that is not exciting for us, is what we are not. And it is funny, because when we first went through our awakening, we needed to learn to detach. To empower ourselves, to walk it on our own. To balance our feminine and masculine aspects. That was the shift from being co-dependent to being independent. Now that that is done… we enter the next phase… and that is becoming interdependent. No longer this means needing someone else to save us or to solve it for us. Now it is all about sharing, joining our magical powers to become the living organism based on oneness and abundance that we all dreamt of. And we are building New Earth as we go. We are walking through the dimensions to inspire people, infecting the old system with the new way of living.
“We are walking through the dimensions to inspire people, infecting the old system with the new way of living.”
It is no longer about teaching, it is about leading by example.
To give you an idea how much this is stripped down to the very detail of learning what we are.
Agustí and I had been working on the movement/project/new model for society , and way of touching people through art experiences in their core to trigger shifts (Fast Forward, FFabric). Agustí is an amazing planner and plotter of blueprints, assembling different insights, experiences and ideas and amazing in provoking people to go beyond what they were able to imagine. Me on the other hand, I am superfast in understanding systems and structures and seeing where the flow is blocked. I love to put my finger onto those blocks to resolve them. I am a catalyst. I trigger people and systems to shift. I am really good at causing cognitive dissonances to blow the mind. I know what kind of experiences are necessary to create the conditions for such a shift. I am good with communicating and orchestrating people and things for flow. Languages come easy to me and I usually speak them fluently within six months. And I am good in translating big picture metalevel complexity into a simple, down to earth language. In the business world we would say I am really good at translating top-level information/strategy into lower management language. But I really suck at operational detailing.
We both got so frustrated that the project despite all the things we did, did not ground and land. We both got tired, each time we came to the point when it was about making the necessary connections and actions to get things going. I did not like doing it, he did not like it either. And of course it did not work out this way. We did not do what we love in that moment. It was a huge effort and made us really tired. There was no way that our energy would excite anyone else or pull the right people and situations into our field.
“There was no way that our energy would excite anyone else or pull the right people and situations into our field.”
A couple of days ago, Agusti posted on his facebook wall: “I am the heart, she is the heartbeat”. And that is true. He is that structure, that connects everything, the pebble that causes the ripple. And I am the impulse, the beat to create waves. The catalyst. I keep the flow going. But I do not start the flow. I am not giving birth. And I am not the creative that goes into the details of things. It hit me like I was struck by lightening… That was exactly what the missing link was. Someone that brings life force into the structure. Someone giving birth. Someone making the connections so that the flow could flow. Someone to translate the details and make things more palpaple. It was such a relief to finally understand why we felt like going in circles and that we did not manage to land the project to really kick it off. And also understanding that we no longer can compromise on our function. We are not supposed to do it alone. With our human body, we have our specific configuration, specifically designed to do what we can do best. And we click into the fractal we are part of to interact and co-create by contributing what we truly love. To find our specific function to create and build new earth, we just gotta observe really well, what is effortless and fun for us. It is the thing that is least obvious to us and most obvious to others. Because for us it is so natural, it seems so normal and not special at all. And it is exactly what others admire us and appreciate us for.
The texts I share are always based in my own experience and observations. By no means I am claiming this to be the ultimate truth. I encourage everyone to find their own truth and to be open to it changing as new information integrates. As this is universal wisdom of us ALL, I do not claim any copyright. Feel free to utilize and share, as long as you keep the text complete as it is so it keeps its energetic signature. Thanks Vera