We are One: A new Model for Society and Relationships

War, terror, conflicts, refugee dramas, hunger, violence – the news is full of these issues and at the same time we all yearn for more peace and harmony. What is wrong with this world and what needs to change?

“I am what I am because of what we all are”. The philosophy is old. And thankfully a few Zulu tribes in Africa have not forgotten about it. Nelson Mandela helped it to come back to more fame. And now, Michael Tellinger even founded an international political party in South Africa to spread the wisdom. Nevertheless, it is not really recognized yet by the wider public. Which is perfect. It is nothing that can be introduced over night. Why? We will get to that. 

This African philosophy has a name: Ubuntu. Translated this means human kindness. It is based on love, mutual respect and appreciation. The core of it: Self love is shared with others in a community and reflects back onto each and everyone.

But what does that really mean? How can I be because of what we all are? And how does this affect our relationships?

First of all, we need to understand that we are all connected. When studying Metaphysics, it becomes absolutely clear, that everything in this Universe is energy, vibrating on different frequencies. Depending on the frequency we are operating on with our own being, we are inspiring, and synchronizing with people and situations with the same frequency. This is how self-fulfilling prophecies come true. What we focus on with our thoughts will happen eventually. We are indeed creating our own reality, and we do this mostly unconsciously. This physical law is also often referred to as the law of attraction (which should actually better be called the law of synchronization).

Additionally, we are all part of unity consciousness. But as we grow up with the illusion of separation and idenity, we have simply forgotten about this connection. This is why telepathy works. And why all of a sudden we have glimpses or great insights or feel inspired to spontaneously write a poem or draw a picture. Because for a short moment in time, we connected to the consciousness we all share. Putting these two facts together into one equation – it becomes obvious: Whatever we do in this world influences the whole, just by the vibes we are emitting.
Wow – you did not expect to have such an influence and responsibility, now, did you?

Closely related to this is the question what is going wrong in this world. Why are there conflicts everywhere and why do we just take them for granted? What needs to happen so that we can live in peace and harmony in a functioning community model, like the Ubuntu philosophy suggests? The answer is simple. But to make it possible will take time and the contribution of all of us that are aware of this truth. Now that we have understood that every single one of us can contribute largely by adjusting what frequency we send out, it takes people that feel ready to share and contribute to the shift for humanity. Not for humanity. But for yourself. The willingness and desire to create the world we want to live in. It starts within. Breaking through the old beliefs, cycles and patterns that we took for granted. Shifting step by step into a higher awareness. The more we do, the more we create a so-called ripple effect. Someone inspires someone energetically, who inspires a third person and so on. We are creating triggers (cognitive dissonances) that causes people to question their reality.

Every single one of us can contribute largely by adjusting what frequency we send out.”

What are we doing that for though? Isn’t our world functioning pretty perfectly and we just have to solve some problems and come up with some more rules?

Really? War, hunger, poverty, greed are just a couple of reasons why we should stop lying to ourselves and admit that the system we live in right now is not working and will never work. It is not in harmony with nature and the universal laws, and can therefore never find a balance. 

Nobody says it is easy, but this is the only way to finally find peace and happiness for us, for our families and for the whole planet. We are not changing the world, we are creating a new one, based on a new frequency. It is a world in a new dimension. 

So – how do we do that? It is a shift from a fear-based society to a love-based society.

The Fear-based Society

At the moment we live in a fear and ego-based paradigm. Many call it “the Matrix”. Here, everything is based on scarcity, and separation. We were programmed to believe this from our earliest childhood on. Thus, we assume that there is not enough for everyone, and that we are a single player in this game, that needs to succeed over others.  We are convinced that we have to fight for our well-being, and our survival, and we have to succeed in this permanent race for wealth. This fosters competition, greed and jealousy. And most of all, it keeps us in constant fear of losing what we have built up. So the spiral continues:

We are constantly playing Monopoly to create more possessions that keep us in an alleged feeling of security and safety.

I need to have a bigger car, a better career, a bigger house, more money etc. to make it in this world, to gather more and more materials of value and to be someone of a certain status. If not, I might be considered a loser. “Look at me, I did well in this competition. I am better than others”. Just one small example of how far this has come right now: Parents send their kids to kindergartens where they are prepared for school already. Learning maths and languages etc. so that they will be able to successfully participate in the competition for the best jobs and performance. They don’t even find the time anymore to go outside and play. In a fear-based society, we need materialism to be able to define ourselves. The more we own, the better we are and the higher the chances to survive. We collect wealth and then we have to protect it. Our model we live in right now is based on individualism, not on community. Even in democracies with a functioning social security system, “social” ends when the own wallet is affected too much. We just have to look at the current situation with the refugees in Europe.

How did we get there? And why do we consider all of this as normal?

There is this element of us often referred to as “the ego”. Originally, nature developed it to protect us in dangerous situations, for example when we were confronted with a wild animal when collecting berries in the wilderness. It produced a fight or flight response in order to ensure our survival.  Today we are hardly faced with dangerous situations like this. We could almost say, that our ego got bored and found other things to protect us from. It tries to stay alive by creating thoughts that will give it a reason to exist.
For example, it started to protect us from not being safe in other fields, such as relationships or in our job. So the ego-produced fear keeps us in a job that pays money and is giving us the feeling of security although it is not the thing we really like to do. In relationships, the ego protects us from being hurt or from being alone. For that reason,  some people do not enter a relationship because they fear they will lose control and get hurt, others stay in a relationship that does not fulfill them, but at least they are not alone.

Our ego got bored and found other things to protect us from.”

The ego needs fear in order to exist. That is why this part of us is interested in keeping us in a state of insecurities and fears and keeps us from doing what we love and what our heart truly wants. It permanently takes us into the past and the future, either reminding us of bad experiences or projecting all kinds of “could-happens” into the future.
Companies and Governments know this little voice inside our head really well and have understood perfectly how to program it to stay in fear. This is an excellent source of money making, and it is a perfect tool to control people. People who are in fear are easy to steer and manipulate.

Marketing misleads us and tells us what we supposedly need for a happy life to define ourselves. To be a real man, you have to drive this car, wear this coat and these shoes, use this shaver, have this watch, have a six pack etc. etc. As a real woman you need to wear these brands, this perfume, this make up, have this perfect body and tan etc. etc.

Our ego loves that stuff. It feels great to outperform others, to compare yourself especially to those that are weaker and not as successful. That is why it produces more and more materialistic and career wishes to make sure we stay on this fake path to happiness. There is only one problem: On this road, we will never be happy. Because happiness comes from inside of us, never from external factors. The things we buy satisfy us for a little while, but then we need a new toy, a new job promotion – a new kick for our self-esteem. Like a junkie needing the next shot.

The programming of this system robs our natural instincts and needs. We forgot where we came from and how important our connection to nature is. This is where we ground ourselves and energize from. Because we are designed to be connected, to nourish and to be nourished, just like a healthy organism is. 

Social programming misguided us into the ego-based belief system. We simply have forgotten our roots. In the fear-based system, dependency rules. People depending on a small world elite. It is one-sided although many of us do not even realise it anymore. But we are dependent on how our food is produced, on the financial systems – where our money comes from every month, where electricity and water is supplied from and the media and educational systems – and those are just a couple of examples. When thinking about this a little more carefully, isn’t it obvious how easy it is to control us? We don’t even question the system anymore. The opposite is the case. We feel pity for those that are poor and feel somehow guilty that we are born into a better place with better preconditions. So we donate and collect to sooth our conscience and try to help those in need a little bit. But if we were seeing the bigger picture: It would not have to be this way.

In the fear-based system, the ego is in the lead, although it was never meant to be.”

In the fear-based system, the ego is in the lead, although it was never meant to be. Originally it was a consultant and servant to our true self – which is always guided by our heart. Which brings us to the model how the world could be.

The Love-based Society

In the end everyone in this world is striving for love and acceptance. The only problem is that ego misinterprets love and makes it into something conditional and needy. Real love is unconditional. It is simply there. It does not need anything, it just is.

Imagine a world where we truly recognise that we all belong to an interdependent society but individually we are totally free. Imagine we would share our knowledge and would not care about materialism or being better than others. This model is based on sharing and abundance. A lot of people would say now: “But then progress would not take place anymore – we need competition!” No, we don’t. We need challenges, yes. But how much more fun, and how much more effective and purposeful is it to play together? We can challenge each other, holding the mirror for each other from a place of love, instead of judgment and jealousy, as a means of learning and growth to bring out the best in each and every one of us. So we can co-create even more beauty for all of us.

At the moment we are on the win-lose front. Very few people win, the rest lose. Up to a point where, like in the game Monopoly, one possesses all and the others possess nothing. A love-based society would not know a competition like that. It would be based on trusting and on supporting each other because ego would sit in the back seat and follow our heart. It would return to its original task to only alert us to be really present. 

The love based model is based on sharing and abundance.”

The new model is based on self-love and acceptance.  Yes, you are allowed to fully love and accept yourself the way you are! You are perfect and you are allowed to be proud of yourself. The moment you have shifted completely, there are no buttons someone could push for you, because you simply have learned that just because you think certain things or feel certain emotions, does not mean that they define who you are. You do not feel offended or rejected or lonely, because you are just happy with yourself. Your ego is transformed, and has learned that it is always safe when relying on yourself and has stopped trying to protect you from things or people you do not need to be protected from. Self-love is the basic ingredient. Once you enjoy your aloneness and realise that you are good enough just the way you are and that you are love, a completely new world opens up to you. The world of abundance. You realise that it is not the big car that makes you happy, but the love you have for yourself that you share with others and that is then reflected back to you. This is the interdependence. And that is the difference to people-pleasing. You do what you do because you really love to do it, not because you fear that someone does not like you because you did not meet his or her expectations. In a love-based society there are no expectations. There are inspirations, and intentions, and ideas. All based on self-love, not on self-criticism. The reward is ultimate freedom. You feel independent and yet part of a bigger community. You can do what you truly love doing, and share it with the whole to contribute to society.

The Solution? Dissolve Fear and love Yourself

Now you say. Great, sounds like paradise, but that is simply not possible. Evolution taught us “the survival of the fittest”. Well, how about that: We are on the doorstep to the next phase of evolution. We can drop our old survival instincts and fears. It is possible, because it happened to me. And I am not alone. There are many other people waking up to this new reality. The ego just does not like this idea at all, because it would mean its “death” and transformation. It is much easier to focus on all the problems out there, and try to solve or fix them, rather than facing our inner pain. 

Nevertheless, there comes a moment. A trigger big and painful enough that makes us shift into this new awareness. We are kicked out of our comfort zone, and have no choice but to embark on this journey back to our true self. 

There is no way to avoid our emotions forever. It can be a lot of suffering, but it is not needed. The more we can see this as a blessing, and the beginning of a transformation from a caterpillar to a butterfly, we can be grateful for what is going on. 

We can start by observing our ego, and the ego programming of all others. It makes it so much easier to understand, that almost everyone has been living with this mental disorder, and is just trying to get love and prevent pain. 

You will realise how we are tricked by social programming to stay in fear mode. For example by marketing. Take fashion: This is the marketing and competition trick number one! But think about it from a deeper sense. How ridiculous is it to “need” new clothes every season, just to be able to compete and look good? What a great social programming to keep us trapped in neediness and co-dependency. And that is just one example of many. Another nice social programming trick is: A woman needs to be pretty and caring. She needs to depilate, she needs to be slim and she needs to take care of the children and husband. No wonder so many women are making themselves co-dependent on men. Of course, it has got better, but still there is no balance or equality in many cases. Actually a lot of women have just turned into being men-like powermachines, which is still fear-based, but taking control instead of being controlled. 

Now, let’s look at men: Men are not supposed to show emotions or cry, especially not in public. They have to be strong and protect the woman. That makes them co-dependent as well. If they don’t have something to protect, they feel an even bigger void inside. This leads to a situation where both are wounded and both are feeling this emptiness and loneliness, compensating it with materialistic things and treats. Because they think they need the other to fulfil them. This will never happen though. Like Osho said: “They are two lonelinesses together. They cannot heal each other. Two wounds cannot heal each other”.

Take heart and face your fears. Change little things, step by step. Start for example by not watching TV for one day to escape the programming and go out into nature instead and feel the pureness and balanced energy out there. Stay in the moment and focus on what you sense and not on what you think.

Start observing yourself and discover how your ego is working. Be like a third person that is watching your acting and thinking. You will realise how much garbage your mind produces every day by projecting fears and worries onto situations and into the future. By taking the role of the observer, you disidentify and probably after a little while you will start smiling about all the unnecessary thoughts your head produces and about the fact that somebody tricked you so intelligently. Observe yourself when someone pushes your buttons and fears arise. Instead of blaming the other person, pull back. Reflect on what has just happened. Feel gratitude that they made you aware of something that still needs attention and care inside of you. Discover the roots of your button and work through them to dissolve them. Awareness, and allowing the emotions to surface without drama or story attached is key. 

Happiness is an inside Job

Once we have dissolved the big layers of fear around our heart, the way is paved to find our true selves again as well as happiness, joy and love. To do so, we have to turn inwards. There are many different forms of breathing and meditation techniques. Meditation does not necessarily mean to sit still like a Buddha and smile. It can be sports and activity as well. The only important thing is, no matter what you do, do it with mindfulness and your complete presence. Be here and now. This is the door to your heart. This is where our answers lie and where we connect to our essence. This is where we find what we truly want in life. This is where we find what fulfills us, and what our heart truly longs for – our calling. This is where we discover our strength. And all of this is possible in a world without fear and the illusion of scarcity, but full of love and abundance.  Your thoughts, and especially the feelings create your reality. This is the law of synchronization. Another important universal law is the law of attention: Energy always flows where your attention goes. What you give your attention, you create more of in your reality. 

Energy flows where your attention goes.”

Once you love yourself, this love is overflowing and you cannot keep it only for yourself. You will share it, and experience more of it. We are interdependent. This is what Ubuntu is all about.


The texts I share are always based on my own intuition and/or on experiences of clients, friends and my own. I do not claim what I share to be the ultimate truth. I encourage everyone to only take what resonates to find your own truth and wisdom. As this is universal wisdom, I do not claim any copyright. Please feel free to share this content as long as you keep its message complete so that the meaning does not get twisted. Thank you. Vera

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