My Twin Flame Life beyond Push and Pull

After another ten months in my personal journey it seems that my spiritual development and the detachment of everything that is not authentic about me has taken a skyrocketing speed. I can truly say, that ever since I took the decision to focus on myself, my dreams, my lessons, my development and most importantly, my purpose on this planet, I know how wholeness and unconditional love feels and how wonderful it is to live a fearless life. 

Since several months, I experience intense periods of being completely in the flow accompanied by wonderful synchronicities. I meet exactly the right people at the right time, knowledge I need just finds me, I am always drawn to the right places and all my needs are met. I experience an abundance in all areas of my life I never thought could be possible. It was not an easy path to take, but I am absolutely sure that it is the fastest way to return back to my true self.

I would like to share my further experiences with you hoping to inspire you and finding some valuable insights for yourself as well. Here are the lessons I learned.

1) Let go of the fake materialistic Self

The last thing to let go of – and that happened automatically – was to let go everything that was not authentic about me. All of a sudden, I quit doing everything I only had done out of conscience to please other people to not disappoint them. I simply could not stand it anymore so I lovingly cut bonds with these duties. It was such a relief to finally being honest to myself. Along with that I realized that materialistic needs just disappeared. No more desire to buy new clothes or other treats. Au contraire – I started to want to own less and less. I gave away stuff to charity and friends and I was selling other things to finance the building up of my own business. And this is still ongoing. My goal is to be able to live in a small camper with the bare essentials. The less I own the more freedom I have to move around. Which brings me to my second lesson.

2) Turn Loneliness into Aloneness

Although the periods became a lot less frequent, I still had troubles with being alone sometimes. In those moments I felt lonely, I still had times of intense longing for him, and on down days, I felt that I would not be strong enough to make it on my own. I had times with intense push and pull dynamics on an energetic level. I am absolutely sure that this was not only taking place between me and him, but I was influenced by loads of energetic stuff going on around me. As I wrote in some articles before, I was reacting on planetary and cosmic events, I was sensitive to EMF and I could not handle a lot of foods anymore.

So what happened? Due to this, I was pushed into situations of being alone, simply because I could not stand being around all these influences including other people. Walking through a shopping mall was pure torture for me. It felt like listening to 50 songs in parallel when picking up all the different energies. I had not developed any resistance to this new sensitivity yet and had a deep longing for being in nature by myself. I was not only encouraged to ground myself, but I was forced to look at myself and enjoy my own company. So I went traveling on my own. I had booked a trip to Tanzania and climbed Kilimanjaro. I went on a Safari and to Zanzibar to learn kite surfing. Climbing that mountain took me to the limits of what my body and system could take. It was so worth it! I met wonderful people on this hike, adventurers, people who want more of life than just a nice house, a good job and a big car. I had so many deep and valuable conversations. And I learned how far I had already come in my own process when hearing their stories. For the first time I discovered my ability to inspire people with my own experiences and support them with my innate gifts.

And the sky was just amazing. For the first time, I understood why the Milky Way has its name. It was a white stripe in the sky. It felt like being a bit closer to home. The feeling when I stood on the summit was out of this world. I was crying and I was forgiving each and everyone in my life including myself for I just had understood on that hike that it was me that chose all these lessons and that there is a higher purpose behind everything. I left the bit of leftovers of my past patterns up there.

Being on the safari in the wilderness, seeing all these beautiful animals, including my favorites, the elephants – as I adore them for their strength, their patience, their serenity and their perfect balance between aloneness and community. I could just sit there and watch all these beautiful creatures, the wilder beasts, the zebras, the lions, the leopards, the antelopes the cheetahs, the birds etc. forever. What a peaceful environment despite the natural law of eating and being eaten. I saw a cheetah hunting an antelope, saw it chasing and the antelope running and I realized that chasing and running in the end always just causes fear and pain. Because that is where our instincts still come from. Back from times when we had to fear to be eaten by a lion. Now that our reptile brain / ego part has not such situations anymore to deal with, it started to protect us from other things, we do not have to be protected from. I realized again, how important it is to not let this part take over the lead in my life.

And then there was Zanzibar. Paradise! I wanted to learn kitesurfing and discover something fun for me. Actually my twin recommended that to me as he felt that I would really enjoy it. And I am so thankful for it. It was something I just wanted to do for myself and combine my love for the ocean with my love for activity. It was perfect. I forgot space and time when being on the water and I kept going for hours. I also went scuba diving – I had not done this in years. And I enjoyed the silence under water feeling completely being absorbed and being one with the oceans and its beautiful “landscape” and creatures. Both activities were the perfect meditation. I swam with dolphins twice, another favorite animal of mine. I love them for their playfulness and community spirit. That was such an amazing experience, as if they included me in their group, inviting me to join them and swim with them. 

Again, I met so many beautiful souls and yet had enough time for myself. I found the perfect balance between community and aloneness. And I completely enjoyed both.

Now looking back, I understand how valuable that trip was for me. This trip has changed me forever. I spent this whole month in the now. Just with myself. Without any internet or contact to people other than those I met. I completely fell in love with myself, with my courage, my strength, my vulnerability, my playfulness and my ability to inspire others. I rediscovered so much about myself, dug out hidden treasures and abilities in terms of empathy and intuitiveness. I could feel and read people’s energies and I was able to transform them. And I discovered my own truth. I learned when my energetic cup was full, I could easily release the excess energy by body activity or EFT, resulting in a good cry and then it was gone. Just like puking out something that does not belong into your system.

One thing had changed: No way that I could ever feel any loneliness again. It became aloneness. A very positive state based on love. For anyone who wants to read further on loneliness vs. aloneness, please read this very inspiring article by OSHO:

3) Stop Labeling

Another thing that became perfectly clear to me, also being in different Facebook groups on Twin Flames and Soul Mates and looking at blogs, reading about the topic was, that our head is tending to need to have a label on everything. Even on soul connections. You can get dizzy by reading all the different terms. Twin flame, twin soul, twin ray, soul mate, near twin, false twin, catalyst etc. etc. All it does is confuse people a lot and does not help at all to deal with the situation you are in. In the end, I realized as long as we are still in the world of labels, we are still in the world of duality, i.e. in the world of ego and the world of time. We are defining things, we are judging, we are clustering them and sorting them into good and bad and putting them in a certain timely order. We wait for things to happen in a certain time frame. And: What disappointment would it be for some people when they would hear they are not in a twin flame connection, but only in a soul mate connection!

Now, let me tell you this: Once we have exited the world of duality and live from a place of unconditional love, none of these things matter anymore. We simply stop to attempt to understand these things with our head. We stop reading all this stuff and follow our own inner voice. We realize that time is relative and eternity is all there is. What we have to understand is that each and every soul journey is different. It depends greatly on the soul contracts we agreed on before incarnating. Although soul connections share similar patterns in how they unfold, each story is very unique and individual. And most importantly: No matter what type of connection, all of those are of immense value for our development and growth. There is no better or worse, they are experiences we need to move forward in our evolution. All we have to do is find out what they are supposed to teach us. The true answers you can only find inside yourself. Deep down inside you just know. We have to learn to tell the difference between the ego speaking and our true heart sharing its wisdom. As soon as there is any neediness, insecurities or fear attached – you know that this cannot be your heart guiding you. This brings me to the next important lesson:

4) Learn the Language of Energy

Once you understand that everything is energy, you will be drawn into the desire to learn more about it. Energy has its own language and always speaks the truth. So learn to tune into it! Practice as much as you can. You will realize, that like strengthening a muscle, you needed to be torn down first before you could be rebuilt into a more solid and stronger structure. A great twinflame couple that helped me a lot in my own process called it a boot camp. And that is what it is! We are training and are taken to our boundaries to come out stronger and more empowered than ever. And I can tell you, it is all worth it. The rewards are incredible, no matter if you end up with your connection or not. I did a lot of energy tapping, learned Reiki, got familiar with the 12 chakra system and step by step discovered how to steer and transform energies. Two books that helped me a lot are “55 steps to Ascension” by Tim Whild and Diana Cooper and “Hands of Light” by Barbara Brennan. The more you learn this new language, the less your mind wants to understand everything or define everything. All of a sudden you just have this deep knowing inside of you that is so strong that nothing can touch it or change it. It is the eternal wisdom of the universe that you carry inside of you. You can feel it, but your mind is just not able to process it. So it shuts down. It would be like trying to run a computer game like Fortnite on a Game Boy. It will simply not be able to process it as the software is too complex for the hardware.

The more you open up to this software – the higher energies – by opening up your 12 chakra system, the more constant the flow of this wisdom becomes. All of a sudden, you feel so confident and powerful in such a beautiful way that you cannot do anything else but move forward and go for your true hearts desires and dreams. It feels like you would like to hug the whole world constantly, separation just dissolves and you feel oneness with everything on a permanent level. You cannot do anything else but follow your inner drive. All of a sudden you do not care anymore what others think or whether what you plan will work out or not. You just know. And you manifest the life you always dreamt of, simply because all you do is focusing on what you love and desire from your true heart.

5) Discover the Divine Sexual Energies

The more my 12 chakra system opened and the more I got rid of my fears of not being good enough and not being allowed to enjoy sexual pleasure, the more my system opened up to the Divine sexual energies, also called the Third energy. Experiencing this energy was completely overwhelming in the beginning. I could have sex with myself for hours without feeling the need to come to an end or an orgasm. Simply feeling these energies running through me and all going through the upper chakras instead of the lower ones was simply amazing. I experienced multiple orgasms of pure pleasure without any guilt or shame. Sometimes I realised that I was processing collective fears during these times and I had to cry and purge first, feeling a huge pain and by focusing on the heart chakra I was able to transform this fear into pure fun and pleasure. I had to laugh and rejoice with all these beautiful energies and felt that the old fears dissolved. I learned that this sacred energy is the energy we need to create. My creativity and connection to the higher realms are always heightened shortly after and I come up with the most amazing ideas and texts, where I think: Did I really create this? Divinity just lives and creates through you. This takes us to the next item:

6) Be, live and share Unconditional Love

Once you let go of your materialistic needs, you learned to appreciate aloneness, you left the world of duality, you understand the language of energy, all there is left is unconditional love. You have become a master of love and a spiritual leader and teacher. A true leader, not the one’s we know in our 3D world based on egoistic behaviour and status. You are fully engaged in your mission and guiding and supporting others to find their way into the light and love as well. You are at service to this planet and humanity by being the authentic you, nothing else matters anymore because this is what fuels you and fulfils you. What happens to your soul connection in that phase? Either it just dropped away naturally without any pain, because both of you taught each other what you needed to learn and what you agreed on before coming, or – if a twin connection – the bond is maintained on a spiritual level, sharing a chord connecting the heart centers.

In that state, 5D completely overpowers 3D, as there are no emotional or physical needs left that vibrate from the lower chakras in a lower frequency. So no matter what your soul connection was – it is not important anymore, because you either detach with love completely and go your way, or the connection accompanies you on an energetic level. It then empowers you and motivates you without any need to be together in the physical. The void and earthly needs are simply gone (yes, including sex) and you feel fulfilled and happy just being by yourself. Everything becomes a sharing without any attachments. I wrote down this sentence a while ago: “I don’t need anyone to be happy – I just want someone to share my happiness with”. This is exactly how it feels – you are overflowing with love and want to share it with this world. This brings me to the last lesson:

7) You are free

This was the most amazing part, to realize all of a sudden that I am completely independent and free. I remember that in April 2015 I had my first angelic experience and dialogue with Archangel Metatron and he gave me the following message: “A twin flame connection per definition is freedom. Freedom of the individuals. Being free from fears, traumas and pain. To deal and dissolve your fears and to handle the pulls you have to get rid of your false identification. As long as you identify with your thoughts, your emotions and your roles, and you identify with other energies and with symptoms you are experiencing, you are still in your false self. The approach must be not to identify, but to observe. These are not your thoughts, they are an illusion. These are not your emotions and symptoms, they are just an experience that passes through.”

Now, looking back it completely makes sense. Back then I could not understand how it should be possible to be completely free when sharing such a bond. But I assure you, you can. I am living a very fulfilled life, completely independent and free, detached from any 3D societal patterns and imprints, I know exactly who I am and what I am here for and I am absolutely confident and fearless. My energetic connection to the other part is so empowering and motivating and full of love although we have hardly been in touch the last 12 months. It is amazing.

The rewards are real and it is worth to go through all of this. Be courageous!”

So my lovelies, please let me assure you: The rewards are real and it is worth to go through all of this. Of course, I have my heavy days in between, as I am still on this planet in the third dimension and the energies streaming in and surrounding all of us can be quite challenging sometimes for our bodies, including physical pain, doubts and emotions that ask to be cleansed. But these phases pass quickly and are nothing compared to the suffering at the beginning of my twin flame journey. I learned to be thankful for moments like this as well, as they always teach me something and encourage me to contribute to collective healing with transmuting energies into higher frequencies. Please be courageous and don’t stay stuck in vicious cycles triggered by ego and programmed patterns. I wish you all the best and send you lots of love, light and support for your own boot camp experience. Please reach out to people you trust and resonate with, when you are struggling. We are one big family sharing love and experiences. That is another thing I am deeply grateful for. Without this experience, I would not have met all of you wonderful souls out there and having these amazing connections all around the globe. Nevertheless and most importantly: Trust yourself, and only take what resonates. there is no other person in this world that knows your journey and life plan as detailed and well as you know deep down inside.

The texts I share are always based on my own intuition and/or on experiences of clients, friends and my own. I do not claim what I share to be the ultimate truth. I encourage everyone to only take what resonates to find your own truth and wisdom. As this is universal wisdom, I do not claim any copyright. Please feel free to share this content as long as you keep its message complete so that the meaning does not get twisted. Thank you. Vera

Navigate your Twin Flame Experience successfully, understand the purpose and dynamics, and find inner peace, happiness and joy!

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