Body Memories

Lately, I have a hard time finding linear words for the multidimensional experiences that have become the new normal for me. I am seeing and feeling ALL, everything and nothing relating to everything and nothing. Ever since all attachments and identities have transformed into oneness, I find it sometimes close to impossible to represent the individual aspect I AM in a linear way.

There is no difference of me and ALL other than the physicality that is still perceived as a separate entity by most people. Which it is actually not. Nothing is separated, everything co-creates permanently, even when we still carry the illusion of separation, personal achievement, heroes, victim and perpetrator stories etc. The DNA carries ALL within, ALL is accessible within. Each dimension and experience is (co)-created from within – individually and collectively. Everything is shifted from within. Nothing and no one can be changed in our outside world. Higher dimensional wisdom has nothing to do with going up, it has all to do with going within. Owning the creation and co-creation of ALL.

The DNA just amplifies specific focal points that make this human vessel really good at and enjoy certain things, tasks, over others, while other individual aspects have different focal points. A perfect puzzle piece in the overall organism of ALL. This morning I woke up after a very cold night out here in the desert. Once more I am realizing how being in nature 24/7 accelerates the dismantling of the old linear, limiting co-dependent architecture of “my” human vessel. Simply because it has no “familiar linear structure” around to hold on to. A true and painful physical liberation of anything this body believed it was, based on the body memory held in its cellular memory, giving it the illusion of past and future as reference points for its existence and identity.

It is a letting go of physical identity, of the limiting cage the architecture kept it trapped in. A huge memory and physical attachment to identifying with a place as a home and safety with a community of people I felt so close to, had already released last week (that place being represented by Amsterdam in my case) from my left side, specifically from the connection between hip and knee. I was feeling such grief while this time capsule of body memory left. And so much lighter afterwards. The feeling of an inner home replaced the attachment to an outer home. It seems like these physical releases literally shift gravity for us. The days after, I felt like a floating blob, I had a hard time navigating this physical body. Everything felt different. I really needed to get used to a piece of new architecture.

This morning another big chunk of body memory had worked its way up to the surface to come out. This time the right side, also between hip and knee. I was 5 years old again. Feeling so lonely and sad. Not understanding any of this human game. My soul and integrity was still so strong at that time, although my physical body was set up in the old limiting architecture. I brought the puzzle piece in of a completely different world based on unconditional love and oneness. It was so clear to me from early on, how that would feel and look like, but my physical body and the linear mind that came with it, programmed with separation, mistrust and lack, could not correctly read or translate this template into a human language, which should stay like that for many many years. Even when I started implementing new ways in my corporate career, and after that when I started writing about it, I experienced this feeling of loneliness and not being understood in something that was so natural and logical for me again and again. Anger was a permanent companion of mine, paired with the nagging question, wtf am I doing here? It felt schizophrenic, as the soul went the opposite way of the rest of my human identity.

The more I got sucked into the human game of duality and separation, the more this schizophrenia became just a subconscious feeling that kept me feeling out of center without a clear knowing why. It should stay that way until I woke up, and I remembered ALL more and more consciously. The more I unconditioned my energetic field, the more I remembered. I could see the truth with unfiltered eyes. I started to understand that – in linear terms – I was way ahead of my time. I saw that the linear architecture I still carried was fighting against me, not wanting to leave the known comfort zone of the human game rules and dynamics. It kept trying to trick me back into the ‘normal’. Until ALL took over and I jumped into one unknowable after the other. Breaking down and breaking through many times. Going through many dark nights of the soul to shake of everything that was not my individual essence. Until a complete death of identity happened energetically. With it all attachments (which are identities) were gone. There was no more past or future. Not even a desire. Not a thought on what will be tomorrow. A childlike state of wonder, curiosity and awe. Just here and now, with what is right in front of me. A love affair and communion with each moment, seeing the beauty in it.

A childlike state of wonder, curiosity and awe. Just here and now, with what is right in front of me. A love affair and communion with each moment, seeing the beauty in it.

Gratitude, playfulness and community are accompanying me and ALL is nourishing me with everything that is needed from moment to moment. The puzzle piece I brought has activated and it all grows organically and naturally. It is so beautiful to actually experience an unconditional world. It is a small camp in Arizona for now, but it sure will expand and grow organically. Hand in hand with aligned people, with nature, the universe and ALL. As we all remember we are ALL, each with our unique unconditional sharing essence, our unique puzzle piece for a new game in oneness.As we all let go of the old architecture that dictated lack, mistrust and separation, we all are starting to embody the new, activating in the perfect moment.In my current NOW, the physical body is still catching up and transforming its archtiectural set up. With every big chunk of memory release, more lightness is physically felt and seen and more of the new organic multidimensional architecture and abilities are integrated. Mama Nature and our little organism are the perfect spaceholders here for all of us in Camp Freedom.

The texts I share are always based in my own experience and observations. By no means I am claiming this to be the ultimate truth. I encourage everyone to find their own truth and to be open to it changing as new information integrates. As this is universal wisdom of us ALL, I do not claim any copyright. Feel free to utilize and share, as long as you keep the text complete as it is so it keeps its energetic signature. Thanks Vera

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