A “Chaser’s” Perspective – Managing the Twin Flame Experience

Twin Flame Chaser

Much has been said and written on the phenomenon of twin flames. A lot of things and information circulate around, and you – being affected and in the middle of emotional chaos – are trying to find answers and to understand what it is that is exactly happening to you. You shift between despair and hope, you ask yourself how you are supposed to survive any other day with all this pain, these questions, these confusing feelings and in parallel – in an attempt of coping with all of this – you try to find your way through the jungle of information on this topic, leaving you even more confused and helpless.

Unfortunately the metaphysical world in the meantime has become an attractive market with some serious, but a lot more half-baked or even unserious offers and services. It is hard to find the right people that actually do have the experience and knowledge that will indeed support you and do not only want to benefit from your desperate state of being.

At this early stage of the twin flame experience, you don’t care. You just want to hear that you will be with him or her and that everything is going to be fine if you just convince your partner or wait long enough.

All you want to hear is that you will be with him or her and that everything is going to be fine.”

Let me tell you this: This is not the answer.

I know exactly how you feel. I have been there. After the most amazing, best and most fulfilling week in my whole life, filled with love, happiness and peace, it was taken away from me. And it was ugly. I have never felt such an intense pain in my life before. I have never cried so much without any relief. I could not understand why on earth I was punished so much after having found the love of my life and the solution and answer to all of what was missing in my life. That person I could be completely honest with, the person that I just had to look into the eyes and seeing pure eternal love and wisdom reflecting back to me, the person I could lean on and could share silence with. This person that just got me by looking at me, the one I completely forgot time and space with, and I was feeling such an intense and magnetic energy pull with – someone I never wanted to let go again. What I did not know back then – this was exactly what I had to do. Letting go.

This might sound very cruel to the mind. I know. It really sucks. But… I can tell you one thing. This is about so much more than just a romantic relationship. This is about you, awakening to a much bigger truth.
Believe it or not, the planet is supported by the powerful energies of twin flames very much, and the more people who go through this experience recognize their importance of their contribution to this planet, the better.

Of course, it is nice to understand this phenomenon from a metaphysical point of view. It gives some peace of mind. We know now, that we are not crazy and not alone. But this does not help to really move forward. Much more important is to accept that this is a connection that cannot be understood on the mind level and it cannot be explained logically. It is something you feel and you experience and there is nothing that you have experienced before that you could compare it with. The problem is that our mind tries to do that though and attempts to fit this experience into a pattern it knows. And that is where the struggles start.

I have been through all this suffering, ailing and the intense pain myself, had a lot of false hopes and dead end streets to experience where I had to turn around and pick myself up again. I learned a lot in a very short time. And this is what I want to share with you – to show you that it does not have to take years to get back to happiness and inner peace. It depends greatly on you and your willingness to move forward. All you need is to understand a few basic dynamics, and to change your perspective on this connection. Your ego will give you a very hard time on accepting those “rules”, but once you have managed to quiet down your little chatter box in your head and you see through the mind fog right onto the heart, soul and spiritual level – everything becomes easier with each and every day.

So what does “letting go” really mean? Well, first of all, as this is the shorter answer: What does it not mean? It certainly does not mean to let go of your partner, as it is simply not possible. The energetic connection you share is eternal and cannot be broken. The more you try to severe it for good the more painful it gets. I can confirm this out of my own experience. You will need to find a way, how to accept this connection, how to handle it and how to use the energy you share with each other in a productive way.

With that said, here are my key learnings out of my own twin flame experience in terms of letting go:

1. Let go of your 3D behavioral patterns.

Don’t try to understand what is happening to you on your mind/ego level. It will only drive you crazy and create even more distance between you and the twin. Your ego will try to understand and analyze this connection out of its 3D view and will continuously fail to do so. It will try to blame yourself, your partner and others and it will try to make you chase the twin because of the immense fear of loss of love it has. As said, the twin flame union is nothing to be understood, it is to be experienced. All of your suffering and pain comes from the ego, not from your soul. So don’t get tired to put ego into the backseat. It is important though to not fight your ego but accept it. It is only trying to do its job to protect you and it really does not know any better. What helped me immensely was to give my ego a name so that I could talk to it and treat it like an ailing person, feeling compassion for it and at the same time being able to observe it. This way, I created a distance and recognized that this is not my true self that is active right now. One day you will all of a sudden realize that your ego surrendered and now follows your heart. In the end – if you allow it to be – your heart is always stronger. This is when you start following your intuition and your inner guidance. So it is all about emotional dissolving and evolvement and understanding a new concept of love and relationship on a metaphysical level.

2. Let go of any need of control.

You need to understand that twin flame unions are a Divine process with Divine timing you are not in control of. In earthly terms we would call it evolution. Your ego loves to control things, and to make things happen, to have an alleged secure environment. In trying to control this connection, all you do is wasting a lot of energy for nothing. This energy can be much better redirected into other areas in your life, as for example your own health and transformation, and acts of kindness with people around you. All you can do is trust, relax and be patient and surrender to this process and hand it over to the Universe and your higher self, trusting that they know much better how this connection is supposed to develop and unfold. The only thing you can “control” and work on in this process are your own activities, emotions and attitudes. So focus on your own stuff and your own lessons. Don’t resist or fight against anything that is happening to you. Accept it, look at it without judging it or identifying with it and let it pass through you. Tell yourself that these moments will pass and that this is only your ego struggling, not your true self. You will notice after a while that these moments get less and that you step by step get rid of past patterns and behaviours, that you learn to love yourself and that you start to feel more and more unconditional love for yourself and everything around you.

3. Let go of the romantic idea.

A lot of twin flame stories and help sites out there romanticize the idea of twin flames very much. While I am absolutely sure that romance can be a part of the union, I am also convinced that it is not the first priority, and not the purpose of the connection by itself. It is a metaphysical connection that is meant to propel your spiritual awakening and ascension and thus your soul purpose and your task why you are here on this planet. Accept and feel honoured that you are part of a much bigger plan than only being two people in love. Twin flames incarnated together to create a high vibrating energy field of pure unconditional love to spread its light all over the planet and to inspire the awakening and growth of humanity. As much as we would like to hear it, there is no guarantee that you will be together in the physical. It really depends on what serves best for yourself and your own expansion and growth, and what serves best for the whole. 

You have to learn that you don’t need your partner in the physical. Neediness is an ego thing. It is an unhealthy form of co-dependency. Accepting this fact will help you immensely to move forward, develop and grow and open up for other possibilities that life might hold in future for you. Dreaming, recalling good memories and tapping into your partner’s energies of course is allowed to give you the strength and motivation to move on – as long as you are not suffering with a victim mentality, and dwell in self-pity.

So focus on your own growth, and expansion, and learn to enjoy the process. It is happening for you, not to you. Don’t think about the goal but enjoy the baby steps you take in healing (remembering your wholeness) and the big and little lessons, glimpses, insights, epiphanies that teach you something every day. This whole process is about your own empowerment.

Realize that you would not have developed and grown in such a short phase if your partner would have been there for you. And be proud of it!

Do not forget to be grateful for this Divine experience. It helped me a lot to keep a gratitude journal and to put down everything I am grateful for in this process. It takes a bit to change your perspective, but once you do, you will recognize that even the toughest moments are meant to serve and strengthen you and have their purpose.

4. Let go of any expectations.

Our ego is trained to permanently expect something from others. Stop expecting anything in this connection, no matter if it is in terms of timing (e.g. “my partner will get in touch within the next week, month”) or reactions (“he will feel bad or guilty about his behaviour”) or his awakening process (“he must have been through this by now”). Your partner has his own process, and needs to go through his or her experience and development on his or her own, in his own timing. There is nothing you can do or say directed towards him or her to speed up that process. It is an internal process for them that they have to go through at their own speed. All you can do to support is working on yourself and your own development and hold space for them in your heart and feeling your unconditional love for them without any blame or regret. This will take pressure away from the connection and will help both of you to move on. Enjoy the fact that you are connected on the energetic level, and appreciate their energies to support you in moving forward.

In order to deal with my expectations, I embraced this needy and control-freaky side of myself without judging myself for it or identifying with it. Then I started to give myself some rules such as – check your mobile phone only twice a day. Step by step these attachments dissolved more and more until they were gone completely.

5. Let go of your role as a victim.

Understand that it is always about you. Don’t blame your partner for the pain you are experiencing. Understand that this connection brings up all past imprinted patterns, templates and fears that you are forced to take a look at. You will learn what still needs attention inside of you. You will discover the potentials you carry inside of you that want to be awakened. So facing and releasing your own fears and learning your own lessons is a big part of this connection. Deal with traumas and behavioural patterns of the past and work on your self-love. Only if you find the love within yourself you will be able to give and receive this love to others especially to your twin flame partner. You have to understand that wholeness comes from within, and that no one can make you whole except yourself. A relationship in the physical is an added benefit but nothing that will give you the feeling of being whole.

It helped me a lot to write down how I see this situation out of my perspective as a victim and then out of my perspective as an empowered person. It is unbelievable what a big difference there was between my mind/ego attitude and my soul/spirit/heart attitude.

Once you have accepted the higher purpose of this union and decided to move on, you will most likely experience an awakening process “on speed”. This is far from being comfortable. But just be assured that this is perfectly normal and necessary and that eventually you will feel better. You will probably go through a period of intense cleansing and all your demons of the past will show their ugly faces to you. You will have extreme highs and lows and you will live your life on an emotional rollercoaster for a while. There will be times when you just ask yourself how much longer you will be able to take this and that you just want all of this to end.

In parallel to the cleansing, your twin flame encounter has triggered a change in your energy system, so you will probably experience all sorts of unfamiliar energy movements in your chakras that can feel very intense and even hurtful and very confusing.

Additionally, due to your frequency rising, you will probably become more and more sensitive to other people’s energies and emotions, especially those from your partner and you will have to learn to distinguish what is yours and what is not. It could even be that you will be affected by EMF fields, moon cycles or other natural events like earthquakes or solar flares. When experiencing moments like this, it is very important to observe the energies closely to get more familiar with them and how your own emotions feel different from the ones that  you pick up from externally.

Your frequency is rising and you will probably become more sensitive to other energies around you.”

There will probably times of extreme fatigue when all you want to do is rest and you will have all kinds of physical symptoms such as skin-breakouts, headaches, flu-like symptoms etc. Just give it time and be patient. It is nothing to be afraid of, you will heal and feel better.

You also will most likely notice that your body is changing and you will have different cravings than you used to. For example for months, all I wanted to eat were greasy stir fried vegetables and pasta, I could not cope with alcohol and caffeine anymore and I had an intense urge to go running and to spend time outside in nature touching trees. All of this was huge need for grounding. My so far very pale and sensitive skin all of a sudden got very tanned by only a little bit of sun, and I lost 10 kg within only 3 months. It is almost like getting an upgrade of your system.

You might experience that your connection to unity consciousness will intensify, that your self-talk increases and your interest in energy work and understanding energy better might grow. I can assure you, although you might think that you are becoming mentally ill, this is not the case. A whole new world starts opening up to you. Embrace it and listen to the new voices and energies around you. You are about to learn a new language that can only be felt, not spoken.

On days you feel weak and down, take as much time for yourself as you can, be kind to yourself, sleep, relax, go outside into nature, take a bath, write a journal, paint, listen to your favourite music –whatever feels calming and soothing for you in this moment.

It might help you to exchange with people who understand this connection. Unfortunately, family and friends, although they want to help you will not understand what you are going through and why you cannot detach from this connection, so their advice – although meant to make you feel better – has often the reverse effect and makes you rather sad or angry. It is just nothing you could explain to someone who has not experienced it.
Try to redirect the energies into something useful, like helping friends or brighten the days of someone around you, even if it is just holding the door for someone or complementing a waiter in a café, find out what you truly want to do here with your life, talents and gifts…

On days you feel weak, be kind to yourself. On days you feel great, celebrate it!”

On days you feel great, celebrate it. Enjoy and be playful and use your energies to move forward with your life and soul purpose.

In general: Be patient with yourself and your partner when going through this awakening process. Your partner is suffering just as much, and needs your understanding and support with it, although you might not be in touch right now. He or she is incredibly scared to lose his or her individuality and the control. Just as your ego does not surrender over night, theirs will not either. There are no guarantees that they will ever get there. The only golden rule I can give you, proven by my own experience is that the faster you surrender and let go and decide to focus on yourself instead of your partner, the quicker your own healing takes place and you notice improvements in your well-being and motivation to move on with your own life.

So – as you probably are interested – what about me?

I have not heard from him for over four months now. He ended the contact abruptly without any warning signs beforehand. Actually I thought that everything was on a good way after the last conversation we had. And then – complete silence. Three months ago I would not have believed that it would be possible for me to live my life without him. But I do know now that it is possible and now that happiness, joy and inner peace returned to my life, I am absolutely confident that everything is exactly the way it should be. I got used to the fact that he is present in my energy field every second of my life and I learned to accept him there and take him with me wherever I go sharing my experiences with him on the spiritual level. I learned how to use our energetic connection for momentum in my own evolvement and growth.

Nevertheless, I still have my bad days once in a while and I know that I will have to continue to focus on myself. Because in the end, this is what it is all about. Finding back to your inner Source, to your self-love, realizing that you have everything inside of you to make yourself whole.

As long as we are in human form, there will always be ups and downs because that is just the natural law of cycles. So all we can do is working on keeping the cycles in a range that we can deal with and even enjoy them and learning how to go with the flow. Once we realize that even the tough times are meant to serve and strengthen us and as we learn to see the positive sides also in the shitty moments, then everything becomes a lot easier.

There are still days when I do not feel well and emotions, whether mine or from others or the planet hit me. The rule is always the same. Observe, accept, don’t judge or blame yourself or others and let it pass through you. Be kind to yourself and use the energy these emotions provide you with for momentum and transform them into something useful. Don’t be surprised by anger but use it wisely. Anger can be a great emotion to be transformed into motivation to change something and grow. It always helps me to imagine these energies being redirected into my heart chakra and transformed into Source energy there.

My whole life has turned around ever since I met him. I changed my career, I separated from my husband, I moved to a new city, starting from scratch. The relationship to my family changed a lot to the better. Toxic people and situations disappeared from my life. Every other aspect of my life is better than before and for the first time I am doing what I truly want and what I truly identify with. I found the beginning of my journey how to contribute to move this planet forward. No more fake compromises. I am absolutely free and independent. For this alone, I will always be thankful to him.

In the meantime, I enjoy being in the now and – most of the time – enjoy the unpredictability of life.

It is like watching my own Hollywood movie, knowing there will be a happy end, but I just don’t know how it unfolds yet.”

Let’s put it that way. It is like watching my own Hollywood movie, knowing there will be a happy end, but I just do not know how it unfolds yet. All I do know is that there will be bumps and a little bit of drama along the storyline to keep it interesting and packing. By taking this attitude, the twin flame experience can even be fun.

Additional note: This article was written in April 2015 as a measure of self-help in my own awakening process. It took me a while to be brave enough to share my story and published it in October 2015 for the first time. A lot has happened since then, this website is one result of my own process. I am leaving this as a gift to the “old world”. I am off to new adventures, you can read my full story until now (September 2021) here


The texts I share are always based on my own intuition and/or on experiences of clients, friends and my own. I do not claim what I share to be the ultimate truth. I encourage everyone to only take what resonates to find your own truth and wisdom. As this is universal wisdom, I do not claim any copyright. Please feel free to share this content as long as you keep its message complete so that the meaning does not get twisted. Thank you. Vera

Navigate your Twin Flame Experience successfully, understand the purpose and dynamics, and find inner peace, happiness and joy!


  1. I find your words inspiring beyond my vocabulary! You don’t know how much my heart and soul have been enlightened. I thank you from my tender heart.

    1. Lovely Lorne, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! I am very grateful to read that my experience helped you for your own journey. I am wishing you all the best for your path into the high frequencies of this beautiful universe. Lots of light and love!

    2. My twin flame married someone else after leaving me. I’ll admit this was my fault. I didn’t get a job after he waited two years, though I do have social anxiety. He wanted to start a family. When he was with her, he said he really wanted it to be me and to step up my game. He talks to me in my dreams and we can hear each others thoughts he can feel my pain when I am extremely in emotional pain or my physical pain. He said I hurt him and after he left me fell into a deep depression. He said he was soulsick. He’s been viewing my dreams and making comments in them, lately. I’ve been seeing 1111 a lot and I know he’s on his way back to me. My spirit guide wants us to be friends. I seem to have more than one spirit guide. I know we’ll reunite when the time is right for both of us.

      1. Hello, I completely feel identified with you in all your story. I’m very far away but living my own Twin Flame process since October 2015.

        I gotta so much to say about my own experience but I can’t even found the words to start.

        God bless all the ones living this procesd.

        My best wishes for you too.


        1. My recent ex after 5 years had brought this twin flame phenomena to my attention. It explained everything about us. From the Immediate intense attraction, the “electricity ” we’d feel when we were close even more so when touched. Everything right down to telling each other things we had never spoken aloud within weeks of knowing each other. For 3 1/2 years it was absolutely amazing. Then the battle of egos began. Constantly bickering or arguing over absolutely nothing. Until it cost us the relationship a bit over a year later. I had moved out at her request. We spoke daily for almost a month. With much love most days. Then suddenly I find myself I chaser mode. As I wake up two weeks ago. To her saying she is happier without me feeling way less stressed. And cut off all communication with me. I hold no blame on either of us. She has begun to do things to better her life(gong back to school, new job, new friends, etc. as have i (new place, finally got my license at 33, new job, actually taking care of myself like buying myself new clothes etc..
          But I just can’t get over the enormous loss of the best friend I could ever have.

    3. Wow!
      One of the most enlightened twin flame interpretations I have ever read!

  2. Vera,
    I posted your article on my Facebook Group Page 5DRS+ 5D and Higher RelationShifts. I am of course curious if your separation will last forever. Personally, I have my own multiple experiences which is why I never automatically assume TF couples to be real TF’s. We can experience a lot of Deep Soul Love Connections, all with the signs-you-have-found-your-twin-flame.
    Great Article!

    1. Thank you Timothy, I truly appreciate your feedback and sharing. A lot has happened since I wrote this article about 10 months ago… I absolutely agree that we can have multiple experiences and in the end: It does not matter what label our ego puts on it. We choose any of these connections for a reason and they are all to be honoured and valued for their specific purpose. <3

    1. Lovely Jaime, while I am sorry to feel you are in pain, I am also very glad you found some help in my writing. Please be assured that you will get through this and that your journey is an amazing and fulfilling one – although you cannot fully see that yet. <3

  3. I am letting go my twin flame I am stop being the chaser
    I have tried to reach him he became hostile I tried be his friend he became my enemy I tried to
    ignore him he insults me every chance he gets we wants me to notice him see his
    hate towards me
    Well i am stepping out of the arena
    If its meant to be it will if not i will love him from far away
    But i am chasing no more for both of our goods

    1. <3 nemesis, this journey is a challenging ride. I commend you for your brave decision to let go. You cannot lose what belongs to you although it might seem like it from our little ego/mind perspective. Much love and healing energy to you <3

      1. Oh my God. This article is an eye opener.
        No one understands why I cannot forget him. No one on twin flame journey talks about trying to let go in 3D dimension and feeling it in 5D. In 3.5 years of knowing each other , we have broken up multiple times but I keep going back to him and chasing him. Start of this year I promised myself I would not chase him. He has not made any contact. Friends and family think I am obsessed and do not understand and neither offer any comfort. It does feel like a part of me is with him and it is painful but this article gives hope and comfort.
        Thanks a lot.

  4. I must thank you Vera, from the bottom of my heart, for all of your wonderful insights….Your words of wisdom have brought me both great comfort & great pain I am so very grateful that you have Shared your experiences, it is helping me to understand this emotional roller-coaster we are ALL riding called Ascension. I have never yet come across information focused solely on the Unseen Energy Dynamics at play throughout this devastating upheaval process; all of your articles resonated with me to my very bones & I can’t thank you enough for so bravely & selflessly passing on the knowledge you have discovered on your own personal journey…❤❤❤

    1. Dear Narelle, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment – sharing your feelings and insights. This is so rewarding to read and I am so glad my writing was of support. It is quite a ride, although it gets more and more exciting, the further we move and the more we understand the energetic dynamics. It is a blessing in disguise and the rewards are incredible. All the best to you in navigating. Much love and gratitude <3

  5. Vera thank-you for this article it helped a lot. I am the beginning of my awakening I believe. You made me understand my Ego is not my Heart, and that was huge progress for me. It’s hard to let go of the control and systems of the Ego, but I now know it’s the right move for me. Thanks again.

    1. Lovely David, thank you so much for your comment. What a huge step to recognize the difference between Ego and Heart, that is the beginning of something sacred to be born. I can so relate how hard it is to let go of control and trust the inner voice that there is so much more than we ever believed to be true. You are at the beginning of a very exciting phase in your life. Embrace it with all the ups and downs without identifying with the emotions you experience, in every little step we take there is something helpful for us, although our ego will not like it. Going with the flow means welcoming all the ups and downs and seeing the good in alleged shitty situations, too. Wishing you all the best for this new phase of your journey. Thank you for being so brave. All my love and gratitude. <3

  6. Dear Vera, thank you so much for all of your posts! I re-read them often; it’s so incredibly helpful on my journey.
    This line: “Realize that you would not have developed and grown in such a short phase if your partner would have been there for you. And be proud of it!” I had a huge exhale. YES, a thousand times. This one line shifted me — I zoomed out again, and I see how much I’ve grown and continue to grow / release old patterns. THANK YOU so very much.

    1. My dear Sophie, how beautiful to read! Thanks so much for sharing. I am very grateful and happy to read that my writings are of support to you on this incredible journey 🙂 Wonderful that you are seeing your fast growth and are proud of it. Enjoy! Much love and keep shining and flowing <3

    2. Yes! I agree! I found that my highlighter yellow pen to took that statement as werl!❤Much love & light.

  7. Wow!! I love you put this out there to read. For those of us who have experienced a true twin flame connection, Thank you! 2 years post the end of my twin flame relationship mine is still in and out of my life. I always know when he’s ready to “pop up” again. I have actually freaked my friends and family out a few times because I always just know. We share common friends one of which is his childhood friend and he is flabbergasted by the level of connection the two of us have. Unfortunately just as you, we are not together. I went through that rollercoaster as well. I have days where I have to figure out who’s emotions I’m feeling. I now have accepted how things are. I feel blessed to have met my twin flame, to have had the time I did with him. I carry our connection around with me everyday, as you I’ve learned to accept it. I will hear songs back to back and aknowledge him. I continue to freak my friends out but thankfully they have have come to realize and post breakup and as recently as this 4th of July they got to witness in person the bond/connection between us. It’s bitter sweet but awe inspiring at the same time. That something on that level can exist. I will always love my twin I will always hold a place in my heart for him because there’s no severing that bond as you said. You learn to live with it. I have moved on though and have met a very good man who loves me and wants to be with me. My life will continue to to move forward I will continue to to grow and be happy. But that twin flame relationship forever changes you.

    1. Lovely Heather, I am so glad to hear that you are navigating your experience well and you enjoyed my blog. That is so rewarding. The higher we raise in our vibration, the more exciting it becomes 🙂 Wishing you all the best and sending lots of love for your journey <3

  8. I’m sorry if I sound like a nay sayer but I have to disagree about the physical part.

    I’ve been in love with this man since I can remember. Starting at the age of four as a young child. I’ve longed for him, cried for him, looked for him in various relationships and number my pain through drugs and alcohol.

    At a time around a year ago when I was looking for nothing, this man shows up in my life. I had never heard the words Twin Flame before. In fact, I didn’t even realize it’s who he was until early May when I felt him distancing himself from me.

    That’s when it hit me so hard I nearly crumbled. Communication became low, phone calls stopped and talks to meet never happened. Our last contact was July 4. We have never gone past a month without connecting back to each other.

    I’ve gone through a spiritual awakening like no other. I went though a death, burial and resurrection state that I thought was going to literally kill me,

    Now, he’s gone. Completely blocked any and all forms of contact. I believe he is dating someone or at least trying to but my spirit guide tells me it’s necessary for him to do so he can see she is not me.

    I’ve dreamed of nothing more than sharing a life with my love. It may look different than the usual but I have total faith and trust that we will have reunion.

    Besides, the twins HAVE to be reunited to carry out this last mission . It is imperative and a secured win can not happen unless twins are in a total divine and love reunion.

    So please, whoever reads this, know that reunios, are happening everyday. God is bringing his children back to him to reunite, and raise the levels of love and light. It is the only way to defeat darkness. Beaides, two lights shine better than, one and our great Father wants to fullfill the desires of our hearts.

    1. Thank you Jenny for sharing- I agree, yes, there are more and more reunions happening and they are super important for this planet’s ascension. I am absolutely convinced though out of my experience, the experience of other twins that have reunited and the experience of my clients, that this is only possible if the focus is taken off the reunion and is put into the inner work. Reunion is only possible when both have healed and become happy and whole on their own. If people stay stuck in the belief that reunion is happening anyways, that is what prevents it. We cannot manipulate the energetic laws. Maybe also interesting to read: http://thewakeupexperience.eu/twin-flames-understanding-the-true-purpose-and-the-energetic-dynamics/; http://thewakeupexperience.eu/twin-flames-free-will-divine-timing/
      Much love, gratitude and blessings <3

    2. Hi Jenny,

      Wow, I am fascinated to hear about your connection, and thinking what happened since you wrote this. Pls share where are you in your TF journey?

      I my self, met my TF a year ago, we never met though. But texted for almost 10 months, with plans to meet each other which always got cancelled on his behalf. I’ve tried to stop the pain by blocking him on every social media, so I don’t feel the urge to text him. But they only lastet for a few weeks or a month, not more than that. I missed him so much every argument about not to text him was just not good enough for my heart. So I always gave in, the worts part was he never contacted me, it was always me who initiated.

      But I can’t do this anymore, for the last 3 months my inner voice have been telling me to let go and move on. But I was not sure if it was my Ego/anger or disappointment. But today I woke up, and realized it just is what I have to do. For my own insanity and peace of mind. Everytime I think about cutting the connection I begin to cry, not just a tear or so. I feel like I can’t breath, its still is something I will never understand.
      To feel this deep without ever meeting him.

      If you would like to share your story, It would mean the world to me or anyone else, its true ppl around you can’t understand, so you can’t share it with anyone.

      I also datet a guy while I stopped the connection to my TF, and it was good took me of thinking about him all the time. But then it came back, I was thinking am I gonna loose my TF if this gets serious. And I felt like withdrawing myself from my date, like I was holding myself back from getting emotions or feeling anything for him. So I broke up with him, only to just be alone again.

      Anyway I decided to move on, and not to think about my TF’s next move or thoughts. I just wanna be and feel myself. Letting go…

  9. its making me crazy that his eyes and how he look at me and stare is the same with my lit brother his hands like my older brother his voice the way he laughes like my ancle his personality same with my brothers and ancle i love everything about him his flaws everything we used to call each other at the same time love many many same things what i desire he disires too sometimes i stop telling him thinking he would think i am lying coz it was too much everytime i tell him, he do things i like only him know and the way he do it like i imagined it he makes me crazy he makes me so open i gave him my whole lost completely in him its scary even his brothers look like my brothers i looked up the star signs western chinese were the same but i am cancerrabbit he is scorpiomonkey my brothers scorpiorat cancerdragon capricornmomkey my ancle taurusmonkey he loves the songs i love can understand eachother without talking even when we walk together without touching is very tense and overwhelming don care about ppl completely lost feeling like want to do it even in public so crazy something controls you sexually very open very relaxed so tense and deep cry everytime after.i sing he plays guitar and piano we sing he wants to be a neuropsychologist i want to be a psychiatric nurse practitioner we both love helping ppl very much alike he makes me very happy and he said what makes you different is coz you know my heart he said he left to another state and i ended up being near where he was at unbelivable but he ignored me for reasons i don know he used to tell me he is not going to be able to live if i marry another man he is gone now its been a year see 1111 evr since see his name every where dreams are a lot finding dimes and nickles when i was with him still do i even find gold wedding ring every one talk to me about him ppl they dont know about us even seems like the cosmo is playing with me so crazy there was so many days i wish to die i used to sleep whole day and night so depressed i felt this kind of pain only when my mom passed away.

  10. Now and again I get a little nudge to search the internet for something on twin flames…..I am 6 six years into the journey. Today I found this, Thank you dear one. Sending love to your journey xx

  11. Brilliant! You have brilliantly captured where I am in this journey. Gosh! What a process it has been, but yeah-thank you soooo much for sharing Vera!

    1. <3 Rose. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and giving such a beautiful feedback!xx

  12. Dear Vera,

    What a beautiful post. Thank you so much for the insight and for sharing your experience. I wish you the best of luck on your journey and hope that one day you will feel 100% complete.

    1. <3 Thank you Lela, I am so glad this post was of support. It was written 1.5 years ago - a lot has happened since then :-) And yes, I do feel 100 % complete now <3 All my love to you and all the best for your own journey. <3

  13. Vera,
    Thank you for helping me to understand that a physical relationship is not always a part of the destined nature of this relationship. I’m struggling with being a wife and mother while having these undeniable feelings for who I believe to be my twin.

    1. Cora,
      Do you mind sharing your story? I am also a wife and mother who is struggling with letting go of a TF. Thank you

  14. Simply fantastic and got details inch by inch of emotional and spiritual experience, thank you for revealing all which is very helpful and once again I submit my immense gratitude to you.

  15. I found this article tonight while searching for answers in the depths of my despair. I’m afraid I’m in the throes of the emotional plunge spending more time in the fetal position while uncontrollably sobbing more than I care to admit. My life changed 7 years ago when he walked in and I’m a completely different person today because of it. Like you, I tore everything down and started anew. I divorced out of a marriage that simply didn’t serve my soul, I lost 20 pounds, ate better, exercised regularly, moved to a new house in a new town, went back to school at 45, earned my degree and began an entirely new career. My love in the meantime has struggled off and on again and again with leaving his marriage which he calls shitty and passionless with no connection but still he remains. I have cut all contact with him more times than I can count, yet always….ALWAYS, he surfaces again and it’s always he who makes contact while I’ve stuck with my convictions. Three years ago he asked me to be a real part of his life after an 8 month separation saying he was done and getting a divorce. We dated openly for three months then he threw me under the bus and went back to her saying she begged him to stay for the children. After a mournful parting, he said if nothing changed in a year, he would leave
    but there he still is today. Still claiming nothing has changed, terrified of hurting his kids, and paralyzed by fear of change. I don’t know what else to do. I keep cutting things off, yet he is always drawn back. And it’s hard to keep shutting him out because of the overwhelming love I feel for him. I have always felt this man was my destiny, but he refuses to do the work, so every time he resurfaces, It’s like ripping off a
    bandage. Just when I start to feel normal again, he comes back into
    my life. It had been 4 months since we spoke last and then just this
    week he called me at work out of the blue. I don’t understand what
    more I can do. I loved your words and advice but am at a loss how to
    move past this if he still surfaces each time he misses me. I miss him every single day and my soul feels shredded. I apologize for venting. Apparently I needed to.

  16. Twin flame married to someone else and a complete druggie, I have finally built up the courage to move on. A very inspiring post though, this seemed to have clear all doubts as to why i could uncontrollably love someone so hard and so long especially having only known her for two weeks. Regardless if she comes back into my life dont matter anymore. Im quite content with or without her.

  17. Thank you for posting this. I’ve always known I had a “special one and only” that is meant for me. I’ve never really been interested in dating bc I’ve held out for that one. A few months ago, I had a feeling that love was coming and on the 12/21/16 twin portal date, I came in to contact with my twin flame by mistake. Not someone I would have chosen. We met and all I could feel was this peaceful energy and harmony. I’ve never felt that. Driving home from our physical meeting, my frequency dropped and I really missed him and felt depressed. It was the first time that I cried over a male. I thought I was crazy bc we just met but my soul kept telling me that he’s the one. It was weird bc I felt like I could feel him, as though there was a pulling of my soul. we spoke after meeting, it was as though I really knew him. We live a few hrs away from eachother and never had the opportunity to hang out again. I couldn’t take the pain and I felt like I was going crazy. I wanted to die. Nothing made sense anymore. Everything about me changed. I decided to let him go. My soul told me to. I haven’t heard from him for a month. I do feel him from time to time, so I keep him in my prayers and send him love. I know that he is broken in some way and I am strong so I tell myself that I’ll be brave for him and love for him. He is covered by my love and strength to complete his healing and face his fears and ego. My soul told me that we will reunite soon. I’ve had a very rapid and instantaneous awakening. It’s hard but I’m beginning to heal and accept what it is. Your article made me feel sane and not alone. Also, I have no one else to talk to about this. It sounds insane. I do thank him for awakening me. I always knew my purpose was to give unconditional love to the world and heal others. I am working on self-love and patience bc my soul told me that those two things are holding me back from my divine purpose and reuniting with my twin. I do have confirmation that my twin and I will reunite soon bc he needs me and I have things to teach him and we have a job to fulfill together, in this lifetime for the world. We can’t fulfill this purpose if we are apart.We even have the same goals. I hope everyone gets to reunite in this lifetime. Twin flame separation has got to be the worst pain I’ve ever experienced and I’ve been through traumatizing experiences. Bless you all in your journeys and ask God and your spirit to guide you on what to do heal. The Holy Spirit will guide you.

  18. This has helped me immensely with understanding my own situation. At times I feel very isolated because I don’t know who to speak too about my expierience. I am grateful for the online community and for people like you who aren’t afraid to share their story. Thank you, Vera.

  19. I met him on 2004. It was an amazing instant conexion in the most unusual circumstances, we were in a different country and we both are from different countries. I speak Spanish, he speaks English. I fell in love in the moment. Desired him with all my body. The conexion was intense. It only took me to look his eyes. I loved everything about him. I traveled to his country and spend 2 weeks with him. I was in love with him after it. We wrote a lot of emails, chat, etc. until the next meeting, which was a huge missunderstanding. I stop trusting him. He tried to make up my mind but he couldn’t. I didn’t believe he loves me. And I thought he would abandon me any moment if I went to live with him in his country. I went back to my ex (to whom I am married now) who is a cery good man, but doesn’t ignite me as my twin did. My twin and I continued texting and emailing for 3 years more. But it was tough. We fought several times until the relationship was damage according to him. I felt I was hurting him. I wanted him to be happy and free. I visit him again by complete chance, almost imposible and we couldn’t manage an undertanding. It was as it we didn’t trust each other anymore. So I decided to stop talking to him and to cut all communication. Blocket him email, etc. I never knew if he wrote back. I wanted him to continue with his life and me stop hurting him with my insecurities. 9 years have passed. I still can recall his smell. Recently I arrive to the conclusion that I still love him. And that I have always feel him by myside. Yesterday, feeling some strong energies from him after being thinking strongly about him for two months, I send a little Hi in his Instagram account. And after 24 hours he haven’t answer. So the pain which I had suppresed has started again. It is too painful not knowing from him. I don’t know if he will write back but as here says, I need to let go and learn. He will always will be my special man, my twin. I only xame into twin information about 2 weeks ago. And it match every aspect. I guess I will forever regrets not believing in him and no going to live with him, as he asked. Thank for reading. It is good to express myself to realise some pain. It hurts not being with him. I still cry for him.

  20. Dear Vera, this article helped me so much! I can’t explain the perfect timing – only that I am grateful and, again, seeing evidence for how we are all One and indeed the Universe is helping us to wake up to this…

    I can relate all too well to how you were feeling when writing this article — I recently met someone after a very long dating hiatus and in my whole life, had never experienced such a profound connection. There is a huge lack of intelligent articles online about the twin flame connection and yours is the first I’ve resonated with. THANK YOU for sharing with great bravery even the difficulties of this difficult path – though only “difficult” insofar as we are identified with our egos… in this way, the TF connection for me has also been the strongest medicine! Much love to you,

  21. Dear Vera,

    Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful and insightful article on Twin Flames with all of us, who are trying to make sense of the sudden heightened emotional chaos and deeper mystical connections going on in our otherwise steady lives. I am fascinated with this concept and your article cleared my confusions quite a lot. I strongly believe I found my Twin Flame 2 years back, and just spending only 3 weeks with her changed my life forever. After that it was always the “chaser” and “runner” type of relationship and that time I had no idea what it was, and I didn’t want to get involved more as our paths and individual lives are completely different and separate. We are 13 years apart in age and total opposites in many of our thinking perspectives, behaviours and ways of communication.

    I didn’t hear about Twin Flame concept before and I didn’t know who to talk to about the sudden intense and extremely painful feelings my heart felt for her — a completeley different kind of love, I cannot explain or express. It was as if our two souls were literally talking to each other even when we were miles apart after the first 3 weeks of meet ups. Gradually due to the rigours of fate and existing committed relationships on both our parts, our meetups grew rare and stopped altogether. Then her responses and replies stopped and 2 years back when all this happened, I just couldn’t understand why she was behaving like this as I saw her as someone more than a friend, like my second skin and I had all the tenderness of loving her like a little child.

    I think this was the very initial stage of my soul awakening when I had no idea what was going on. So, after withstanding multiple painful moments of being ignored and apparent avoidance, I decided to “break” the connection. And boy, what a huge shocking rollercoaster that was! I couldn’t believe what was happening to me! If only I could’ve read this article or a similar one that time, I could’ve understood what was happening to me as well as to her as I could really feel both our vibes! I think you’d believe that the days moving on after the “physical breaking of the bond” ascended me to vivid spiritual realms in my dreams where I dreamt almost every day of meeting her in spirit. It was not like other normal dreams, I could feel my whole being becoming very aware, I cannot exactly explain and I grew so very scared at this “craziness”.

    There isn’t a month till date in these 2 years, that she hasn’t come in my dream, talked to me and showed how she truly is as a beautiful and kind soul, and the situation she is in, I can sense but I cannot verify as she is still very hurt, running away, a lot younger than me and she is in a committed relationship that she began 2 years before. I now understand completely after reading this article on Twin Flame relationships and maybe this is the right time for me to learn about this concept as I am working on my healing for past 2 years and now I have let go of her.

    I now understand why I still see those vivid dreams of my Twin Flame as the inner connection is eternal and unbreakable no matter how hard both of us have tried! I accepted the fact that I truly love her unconditionally without any strings attached and it makes me at peace to get the answer to my conflicts and sufferings at last. The moment I read this article, I knew I wasn’t alone in this amazing and enigmatic soul awakening journey and I now consciously let go of any expectations of reuniting with her in the physical realm in this life as I strongly feel that she is still in denial and may not even believe in this concept as her religion is different. But almost all the signs and emotions you mentioned in the article happened with me when I spent the little time I had with her or stayed in the same state albeit different cities, but at least near her.

    Now, I am far away from her in a different country altogether, trying my best to move on, but she keeps coming in my dreams and they are really vivid! I try to tell my subconscious not to dream about her, but it wouldn’t listen! I want all healing and love to be chanelled to her, so I am letting go of my ego bit by bit as that is the root cause of all my sufferings till the time I learnt about the Twin Flame connection! This is indeed a different level of existence, beyond earthly realms, time and space and the love is so pure and deep without expectations, the ultimate liberation.

    It has changed me so much and I am keeping on transforming and trying hard to keep pace with the changes I’m going through in my life! P.S – we are both females, I never knew my TF would be another woman! But, I am happy and at peace as I’m finally finding answers to my many questions. Thanks again for your wisdom and insights on this subject.

    Much love and stay blessed!

  22. I need to understand what is the purpose of twins meeting i feel like im losing my mind. Im alone now all this just fell on us out of nowhere we married in less than a month after first meeting bliss till last month 8 months now nothing what do i do?? We had never met before this we were strangers…. Our familys have never understood. Do i divorce her shes now seeing my nephew drama filled familys destroyed i just dont know nomore…

  23. There are so many articles on how to clear out the negativity to unite with your twin flame, but I can’t find any that help validate and deal with the feelings DURING the running process. I understand that it’s important to clear out the bad, but sometimes it’s hard when you don’t know how to handle your emotions. Luckily, I’m still connected with my twin flame, but he runs while still being around if that makes sense. But I just couldn’t find any articles that help you deal with the human hurt while you’re stuck in it until coming across this article. This was exactly what I needed to read, everything about it. Thank you so so so much for sharing this.

  24. Hi Vera,
    I have been in the push and pull with my TF for months now. Today was the start of separation.
    Vera, the main objective is for us to work on ourselves right? But if a spiritual person like you are unable to make union, how are the rest going to even make it?!
    Well just forget it then…

    1. Hi Julesk, thanks for sharing. There are many things especially in the beginning of the TF journey that we cannot understand from a human perspective, because we do not understand the energetic dynamics that need to play out in order to reach union (on different levels… energetically first, then physically). This union is a union with all of your own aspects first before it can be aligned with the twin’s energies. You will learn so much about yourself, humanity, the planet and the universe and will see the perfection of it all the further you move into these new frequencies and shedding the old. I encourage you to further read my blogs on twin flames to learn more, or look into the video programs I am offering. This journey is truly liberating and becomes more and more beautiful and magical, if we learn to see purpose in the fear and pain we encounter on our way to true freedom, authenticity and balance. Much love!

  25. Your writing and wisdoms here are the most resonant and true that I have seen thus far on this topic. Thank you for offering your truth so others might relate. Doves from my heart to you.

  26. I’ve been surfing the net looking for explanations about what I’m currently going through, gaining a better understanding of the ”runner and chaser” and giving me more insight, but still I was in pain and wanted to contact her and tell her I long for her. My experience is basically the same as yours, met 3 months ago and I knew there was a spiritual connection the moment we met. She, although still a bit new to the idea of spiritualism, was very intrigued by spiritualism as I’ve been on my path to find my true self for 7 years, so I gladly shared my knowledge and understanding on the subject. Since then I’ve assisted her immensely in working through toxic relationships and attempting to help her to grow spiritually and personally. At first I could withhold my own emotions and excepted that I don’t expect anything from her but there was a hope to it. As time went by we got extremely close and she was no longer in a relationship, though I understood clearly that she does not to be involved romantically with anyone right now and I respect that completely and stand by her as I watch her grow very quickly in a short amount of time. I we live far and she finally said I can come visit, I did, and the energies were amazing and flowing and the connection really caught me off guard. As I believe I’ve come far from the being I use to be, being able to see things much more clearly and accepting and letting go, as you said. The last day of my visit we had a massive fight and her old wounds surfaced from previous toxic relationships with me in the firing line. I ended up crying, as I felt the hurt, but the connection also changed, I could feel she feels different, though assuring me we are closer because of the fight, I accept it and let it be. I leave the next day, this was a week ago, and as the week continued I heard less and less of her, currently in the process of letting go. I just wanted to say that this was the most relevant read on the subject and assists me in being strong and not to chase her but continue focusing on my own process as I did before meeting her. Defiantly a curve ball from the universe, I understand now she is not ready for these energies though I would tell myself she is. I even want to send her this link but I will not and leave her to work through this herself.

    Thank you very much for your share.

  27. I really like your story, especially the part where it says feeling and accepting them in your energy field. On how that person is with you wherever you go. This has been happening to me for 17 years. I can identify with everything you said. I think this is the only story on the internet that seems pretty sincere.

  28. I love your blog. Just wondering where you are in your journey today??
    What if I was the runner and didnt even know it??
    I wanted to get as far away from my connection as possible. It always felt uncomfortable, nervous, never really spoken. I listened to all the other “tf help”.. raised my vibration and of course he didnt follow. So presumed he wasnt it. But I can still feel him, still know where he is, still connected to him in some sort of way. Not attracted to him what so ever. But feel his softness every morning (I know when he wakes up)..
    Iv grown so much and am forever thankful to him.

    I just cant shake him. So I thought, what if I was the runner?? I feel so uncomfortable around male figures in my life. My father, my brothers, guys that like me. I dont like getting too close to them, I dont like them hugging me, I dont even have proper conversations with them. I feel too uncomfortable to start conversations with them. Even if im in a high vibration. Theres still something there that makes me uncomfortable being in a room alone with my brothers or father.
    Iv been doing my inner child work but I cant find or figure where or when I started to dis connect from male figures in my life. Or became this other person so my father or brothers would love me.
    This is what iv came up with why im still connected to my soul connection. See raising your vibration does help but there still issues within yourself that keep creeping in and of course soul connections you attract that you have the opportunity to learn something about yourself.
    But im struggling to find where the disconnection with myself started.
    I was sexually abused but I healed that ages ago. It doesnt make me feel disgusted in myself any more.
    Would you recommend any helpers? That dont charge too much??

  29. Thank you for this. I have been dealing with a somewhat painful (though infinitely rewarding) twin-flame experience for over 15 years, and your words and experiences have granted me so much closure. I often find myself feeling like I’m going through this alone, like I’m the only one in the world who feels this pain or understands why it’s necessary. It’s comforting to know not only that I’m not alone, but that there are others who have succeeded in overcoming the same obstacles that are currently blocking me.

    From my perspective, I have no indication that I will ever physically meet my twin-flame during this incarnation. Yet, every single day since some random summer day in my mid-teens, I’ve been aware of and in contact with a spiritual entity who was eventually revealed to be my twin-flame. I have never physically met a person who feels anything like this entity, and yet, I know her thoughts, and she knows mine, and we can converse on a spiritual level by sharing our minds and our hearts in this way.

    I believe we incarnated in this way for exactly the reasons you’ve stated – that we have a mission, and our separation is meant to expedite spiritual growth in both of us. Among the things I have gained on this spiritual journey with her is the desire to study quantum mechanics, and presently I’m pursuing the theory that quantum entanglement with photons in our brains has something to do with with our (telepathic?) connection.

    As for physical contact, visual or tactile or otherwise, there is next to nothing, save for a few quiet nights where I swear I’ve heard her voice come out of the darkness, or noticed something suspiciously uncanny about a song or the shape of a cloud that seems like it was meant for me in the moment. It’s just enough to suggest that something might really be here watching over me and sending me love, but not quite enough to shake the suspicion that I’m hallucinating.

    At the end of the day, I can’t help but question whether I’ve underestimated my ability to fabricate all of this in my head and hang onto a fantasy. Am I just talking to myself? Have I built it up so much that I’m terrified of what will happen if I decide one day I made it all up? Is the fear of facing that possibility the unconscious reason I keep progressing it? The doubt and aggravation from the uncertainty of this – whether she or any of this exists, or is part of a complex delusion or mass hysteria – is the hardest part, I would say.

    Be that as it may, and assuming that she and everything she brings with her is real (and I do relate to everything being said here and in other sources, so there are plenty of signs that what I’m experiencing is the real deal), I don’t think she exists in the same plane or dimension as me. I can’t even begin to tell you how much effort I’ve put towards making a connection where I could at least see her eyes, much less anything else – anything at all to prove I’m not going crazy. Your article addresses how this is a mistake – that I have spent too much effort trying to force this connection to manifest in a way it’s not meant to, and it’s time to let go of that neediness and focus on healing myself.

    I haven’t felt comfortable talking openly about what I’ve been experiencing. I’m trying to find the courage to do so as it seems like the time is near for the world to wake up and acknowledge this other dimension to our reality that we’ve been denying for too long. Your words are inspiring me to take steps towards coming forward and reaching out for help, and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  30. i really need some advice on a situation…. basically this guy i have known for many years but never connected with or even really had a convo with popped up in my life 2 years ago at a charity event, we instantly connected we sat and talked for ages and the feeling i got looking in his eyes was something i have never forgot since. since then everytime i have seen him physically, he pops into my head minutes before and i can feel him and i know im going to see him. & There he goes passing by. its the strangest thing.

  31. I had a similar experience like the one you said. When I thought things were going well, he fell sick and then without warning cut all contact with me and my other friends for 2 months. It was only after two months that he contacted us. But something had changed. Whenever I felt he was avoiding a conversation with me, I felt my world breaking down. I might be laughing when I tried to call him but when the call ends, I would cry like the world is ending. I really felt like I am on emotional roller-coaster. I have a feeling like I won’t have the same kind of connection with anyone else, but at the same time I really have to let him go because I feel that though my ego wants me to still have continuous contact with him, I personally feel the solution to whatever I am going through is growing as a person myself. Your article really hit home. And i think I will take what you said and implement it myself whenever I feel lost 🙂

  32. Hi Vera, thank you for you! All your writings are food for the soul.

    I met my TF last year on a trip. It was him first who make the effort but I was married and I thought he was just being friendly. But after the trip I experienced all the heartaches and confusion and also got sick.

    We had small conversation thru WhatsApp and I initiated all the conversation. But at the same time I was desperate to forget him and thought I was the victim. Luckily I decided I must let go. After then I knew about TF encounter.

    I am at peace now. So looking forward for enriching my spirit.

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